Being the Best vs. "Everyone Else Sucks So I'm Better Than All of Them"

A recent experience a fellow artist and friend had me about has really affirmed my "choosing of sides" with the artists involved in this scenario as well anyone else who is a potential friend, associate, resource, etc. It has brought to life, the idea I have of who my real friends are and, conversely, who are not! This is an actual scenario with the names changed to protect the innocent only. 2 Musicians - Abby and Jason.

Abby is true artist, entertainer and true friend to everyone she meets. She has a project built on sweat and hard work, has built up a reputation, fan base, etc. It is an excellent project (rock band) however Abby and her bandmates still seek higher levels. They are always shooting for those levels of excellence. This I consider one of Abby's best qualities - her ability to see what next level is there and then guiding her project toward it.

Abby makes her way through her career expanding as she goes by really making people feel wanted at her shows. She is excellent at what she does because she earned the excellence and people inherently know that when they see it. She does have things about herself which could be improved but that is by her own observation and not because of what anyone else thinks. I have the highest respect for her. She is very valuable to her friends and associates. When I watch her perform from an audience perspective, I feel the appreciation coming from her and feel very much part of her show.

Now, although "the best" in any category could be subject to many opinions, in this instance and category, I rate it by appreciation and admiration from the audience, fan base, followers, etc. And I do mean actual bodies at actual shows, people who are obviously always hanging around and want to be a part of it. Most people have seen artists or bands like this. You go to the show and it is OBVIOUS!

Then, there's Jason. Jason is a musician who has a project (also a rock band). Jason is an excellent player. By any yardstick, his band is not what anyone could consider the best of the best so, there could be improvement. Instead of seeking such higher levels though, (or even being able to see that they exist), Jason starts making less of these other projects, particularly ones that make him seem less in his own area. So all the top-of-the-tops projects which are out there are simply flawed, sell-outs, not true musicians, generic, etc. And with regard to Abby's much larger fan base (as evidenced by attendance at their shows) Jason refers to them as "bunch of losers" with "no taste" or "no real judgment" of what good music is. He continually puts them down at every turn to his own "fan base" (which is very small if any) to others and every once in a while will let something get back to them.

Abby had always suspected this M.O. of Jason's but it became very real to her when an actual industry contact told her what Jason had said about her. Her first reaction was to be upset. Once it sank in, I think she sees that this is a good thing. What I hope she sees is that it is a testament to the fact that she is big enough and good enough to be considered a threat to him. For, how well could Jason think of himself and his own abilities to have to get to the top this way? Abby, being in pursuit of excellence, would take criticism, sometimes, too seriously, in her rational attempt to be better than she is. So, she would occasionally get upset and start thinking, "well maybe I COULD be a little better" or "maybe I'm not as great as I thought I was".

I almost feel sorry for Jason in that he thinks low enough of himself that he would have to make the whole world seem bad to make himself seem good. After all, how easy is it to improve on your own abilities and talents and become great at anything, especially compared to having to go find EVERYONE ELSE and somehow put them down enough so that, by default, you come out on top? That's just not rational and THAT is why I have decided to have ONLY people like Abby as my friends!